Living in the Wild Wild West

If you were astute enough, or bored enough, you could look back through my archives two years ago this week, and find the beginning of the Jungle Boy love story, from the first date where I stressed about the knickers I would wear, the first kiss, etc.

It's just lucky I'm chillaxin* in sunny Perth, with nay a care in the world.

And a nine year old's project about Sea Turtles to distract me.

And a lovely 17 year old who took me to Freo and bought me COLD ROCK!

And a 14 year old who is it the epitomy of surfing cool.

And I'm loving it.

The plan is not exactly in place. There's no tan lines. But my head is getting a little clearer, and I sat outside and ate my lunch today.

It's probably very fitting, that during this, this anniversary week, I am going to cut the heartbreak from my life. TGI Friday's is a CRAP place to go for dinner anyway. I've got my eye on the Cottesloe pub!

Come 1st May, 2007, it's a total, brand new, year.

So. That's over and out for me, probably until I get back. Sorry that I can't read/comment on your blogs, but do not want to leave trails for impressionable teenagers, do I, saucy blogsters.



*It's my mission to use this in every post I can from now on. I 'love' this word.

So then I went to Perth...

Spurred on by the possibility that the hard ass internet posse lead by Mars might discover my true identity as a Bendigo Bank teller leave me more bossy comments, and since it's such a nice day, I decided to blog again.

Ok, I was bored and there's lots of crap in my head. Sue me.

As a resolve to my previous issue, I ended up calling a confidential help line to talk about things, and am thusly in a far improved state of mind. And that's the last I'm going to say about the matter, even including defending myself against cowardly taunts. For the record, I do not take pictures of my feet/shoes in toilets. Ick.

And so yes...I'm going to Perth. Cunningly organised between my mother & her sister, I get my airfare paid, I get to stay in a house five minute walk from Cottesloe Beach, have use of cars, and, I don't know, be away from everything. I should get dumped more often.

Speaking of being dumped, today will mark the three week anniversary. And I've not heard one word from him. Is this an odd thing - not one word? This is all very foreign to me; normally, I've had contact with the ex for ages after. Although, I must say, it's kinda handy, as it lets me get over him a hell of a lot quicker (OK I'M STILL WORKING ON IT). But you know what I mean.

Anyway, I'm setting myself some goals for Perth. I plan on coming back with a clear head, a plan of attack, and hopefully a tan. (Out of all of those, I'm least likely to succeed at...the last one!)

First of all though, I need to find some summer clothes! Hurrah!

Hurt (Updated)

Sorry, I was a bit dazed when I first posted this.

I'm fine; feeling like I betrayed The Boy was a RIDICULOUS thing to feel (as I've been told). I'm not cheating on him, he dumped me. Der.

The bruises will go, I'll be able to sit down without pain soon enough, but hopefully there is a guy out there with really sore nuts. I kick hard. (Yay, kickboxing).

To clarify, I'm not using the 'R' word, just what he did really hurt, and I asked him to stop repeatedly, and he didn't, so I fucked him off.

Lessons Learnt:
- Stay away from boys for a while
- Despite my bravado, still not quite over The Boy yet
- Smoking is DISGUSTING.

And if I want to post on here, I will. If you are going to judge me for picking up a guy in a pub, at least do it in the comments section, don't send me fucking anonymous emails. I post on here to get clarity about how I'm feeling about things, because more often than not it's hard for me to get that in real life. I'm not proud of what happened, but I'm not ashamed either, so go fuck yourself.

Now, for the rest of you, you can see me waving from a hot air balloon tomorrow morning; that is, if I get up in time.

Over and fucking out (for a while).

M

People that are over things, go to Geelong.

Might I just tell you that I'm going to Geelong tonight? DON'T ask me why, just run with it.

Because what else does a girl do on a Saturday night?

I have thousand little angry red bites on my legs (mosquitos??), and a thousand little angry red pimples on my face (Ok, I'm exaggerating), and I've just decided that I'd like to have a crush on someone.

Not a boyfriend, not a relationship, just a crush. For it's been TWO weeks now since I've been dumped, and really, I'm fucking over it.

Sure, I check my moblie 75 thousand times a day to see if he's text me (he hasn't), sure, I check my MSN every day to see if he's deletd me (he hasn't), and sure I think him all the time (he doesn't think about me I'M BETTING), but I'm over it.

OVER IT.

And people that are over things, go to Geelong.

Fare thee well, my pretties.

Holy flying fuck batman.

Drinkin' the tequila with the lemon and salt. Yeah Tequila!

So. Started off at Fiddlers. Then moved onto the Deck @ Waterside. Then to Marquee. The to Riverland @ Fed Square. Then to Transport. Then back to Marquee.

Fuck I'm seedy.

Getting back on the horse and falling off the other side.

Only a week single, and already a friend of mine wants to sign me up to RSVP. She wants me to go to her house, and she'll take some pictures of me, and we can make up a profile.

Great idea in theory. I checked out some of the guys this morning (NOT BAD EITHER), but my heart's not in it. I'm not ready to go through all that dating thing yet; trying to make conversation, dressing up, worrying if I'm impressing someone. And while the ego boost is good, and the initial, flirty stages are always exciting, the dating part scares me, and I realise that I just want to be by myself for a while, and become confident enough in myself so if he turns out like The Boy, I can tell him to fuck off, first time round.

Did anyone read This article in yesterday's Herald Sun. Okay, so Dr Cindy Pan (she of the milk commercials), and Bianca Dye (some radio chick) are telling me where I went wrong. But god, they probably are right. Instead of trying to get attention by being depressed about myself, I should just be confident, and feel sexy.

HENCE WHY I'M GOING AWAY (FROM BOYS) TO FIND MY CONFIDENCE.

Although, it would be very nice to have some sort of male around right now. There's a giant fuck-off cockroach sitting in front of my bookcase, and I'm too scared to get out of bed and vacumn it up. Or go near it. So if I had to have an RSVP profile, it would say "WANTED: Man to save me from cockroaches & spiders".

Where is my dad when I need him?

Whoa

Well, i did find something to do on my Saturday night. Not half as good as sharing my bed with someone (sleeping, not anything else, gutterheads), but still made me realise what an arsehole I've been.

I went back through, in chronological order, all my entries for the past year or so, about The Boy. Actually, that's nearly every one. So much whinging, so much pain, and I could have controlled it ages ago.

Amazed you guys even put up with it.

What an annoying shit I was (still am, don't say it!).

Actually, I'm really pissed off that I put up with his shit for so long. I remembered back a couple of other times, especially when I got upset because there was some chick in a bikini as his screensaver, so obviously he had a case to build, and last week was not just some heat of the moment thing.

HOWEVER, no more dwelling, it's a brand new month, and in the spirit of brand new things, I've got goals. Not April resolutions, but actual goals. And making sure I keep them, I'm going to pledge to you that I will, pledge to important people in my life, and follow them up all the time.

So without any further ado, I present MY GOALS...

* Save money to go on Contiki trip to Europe - next year
* Save money so I can buy a house - By the time I'm 30
* I want to be a curvy, toned size 14 - by end of year
* Join boxercise class - next month
* Start up running program - next fortnight
* make new friends - immediately

Also goals, but didn't make the list: Clean house, do washing, take dry cleaning, buy new handbag (TODAY).

I'm excited. Weekly progress reports coming soon.