The post that's not a post

I apologise for not blogging lately. I'm kinda over my life. NOT in an emo-i-hate-myself-and-want-to-die sort of a way, more like a there's-nothing-out-of-the-ordinary-happening-to-me-that-I-want-to-blog-about sort of a way.

Actually, I did want to sit down and let out all my feelings on one particular topic. But animal cruelty isn't the blog post of choice, I guess. Unless some dog is going to fight in the Iraq war, or a little kitten is going to run in the upcoming federal election, it's just not trendy. It's just that there's been a spate of cruelty reports in media the last week or so; whether it's an increase in cruelty, or whether the media is hot to trot on the topic, I'm not sure.

But consider this:

* LUNATIC (ex-vet, mind you), has been clearly underfeeding her horses for years, and is only now saying it is because of the drought. Distressing footage of malnourished, own shit eating, horses and crazy woman who is doing this to them. If you can't feed them, give them to someone who can.

* MORON puts two kittens in a plastic container with THE LID ON and leaves them on a vet's doorstep overnight. Luckily, they were nursed back from near-dehydration and are/were up for adoption. CAN PEOPLE NOT USE THEIR BRAINS???

* IDIOT leaves a 16 year old dog, fretting for it's dead owner, on an animal shelter's doorstep overnight, because they have inherited the dog, and can't look after it. Which is fair enough - BUT WHY DUMP IT AT NIGHT. FUCK. The piece in the Herald-Sun today, although it probably wins the award for most emotive language, about how the dog was scared in it's new surroundings (concrete cage), made me want to leave work right there and then and go adopt it.

* FUCKHEAD dog stealers are stabbing people and throwing dogs around, just because of their breed. ANIMALS ARE NOT COMMODITIES (except for Minks, as our Friend, Lillian Frank tells us, that Minks are farmed, therefore it is okay to wear a mink coat. Good stuff, Lil).

* And last but definitely not least, CUNTY CUNT MCCUNT CUNTOS decide they will make their dog attack a guide dog. Real fucking heroes, aren't they. It's bad enough that it costs $25,000 to train a guide dog, and it's even worse that the blind owner and the dog had a five year bond. The worse thing is, the guide dog may have suffered psycological trauma, in this case, rendering it unfit for guide work anymore. ALSO, DID I MENTION IT MAY HAVE SUFFERED PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA?

You know what would be fun? If I saw those clowns, and let the sharpest knife in my kitchen loose on them. Specifically, on their balls (if they actually have any), and then make them eat them, a la person in Hannibal eating their own brains for dinner (WHOOPS SPOILER). Except they are so fucking concious, that not even half of a coked up Hollywood could be anymore alert than them.

So yeah. I'd like to write a post about this, and tell you how I really feel. But if I was going to do that, all I'd really need to tell you is that it breaks my heart. And may some sort of God help anyone that I catch being cruel to animals.

Wild Card, draw four

If you see someone on the train, calling their mobile phone a cunt, and generally looking pissed off, don't be alarmed kiddies.

It's just ME, being totally absorbed into the mobile phone game of UNO.

Yeah, I don't get out much.

Except for this weekend; they are letting me out on Friday AND Saturday night. Someone have an ambulance standing by; my heart might not be able to keep up with all this FUN I am supposed to be having.

Mind you, I could very well end up in a dark corner playing UNO...

Challenge II - Relationship

Not so long ago, I was listening to the couple next door making the loud and gushy secks.

Today, I stood next to possibly the best looking bloke I have ever seen in real life, and was momentarily stunned.

I spoke at length with the 19 year old genius in our team, about what he was going to do for his girlfriend for V'day. He's taking her on a weekend away - he's taking her out to dinner and buying her some flowers on actual V'day - he's going to buy her a 'surprise' present of a couple of gold bangles to give to her on a random day -nothing specialm just 'because'. All this, before her birthday in March.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Well, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

How is it, that this doesn't appear for me? Instead, I'm still 'marking time' with some clown that will spend V'day going out to dinner with his parents (Wednesday is their 'going out to dinner night').

***

As my Dad likes to constantly remind me; 2007 is my 'getting rid of' year. I've gotten rid of my car, now all I have to do is get rid of some weight, get my self confidence back, and get rid of 'other' things in my life. The 'other' he refers to, is the 'relationship person' I'm always banging on about. He won't say his name, because he can't stand him. Good old Dad.

And yes kids, Dad's are always right. I know exactly what I have to do. To be spoken in more depth in Challenge III - Losing Weight, but I know that all I have to do is drop the excess that I've been carrying since I gave up all serious sport, and I'll be sexy, confident Martie again. The one that probably would have paid for this guy's coffee card and left my business card for Mocha Genius Man to pass on next time.

The one that would open all her doors and windows so the whole suburb could hear the sexing going on in her apartment (all night).

The one who would be taken out for a nice dinner on V'day, and would be organising a performance of Carmen Electra Striptease for her man, for dessert.

The one who would have told the relationship moron to GET FUCKED, a long bloody time ago.

***

I was actually mucking around with my blog template (again) on the weekend, and got stuck reading all my archives for want of a better and less narcissistic thing to do. It actually charts my whole relationship with the relationship person, from how nervous I was before our very first date, to lusty weekends away, to GOD DAMN FUCKING DRESSING GOWNS, to finally the absolute dropping of any pretence that he was interested in participating in a relationship, unless it suited him at the time. I was good, I was strong for a while, but single life can be cruel to a girl with a weak will, and hasn't experienced it in a long time.

BOOOOO MARTIE.


I'd really like a nice white gold bangle (or two), that I could wear with my watch. Please God, are you there, it's me, Martie.

Challenge I - Money

My head is all full of thoughts. It's a jumble of boys, relationships, money, renting, family. I know this here blog is meant to be a capture of those thoughts, but I can never write them eloquently enough. And I don't really have any funny anecdotes about myself, or amusing things happen to me, so it's a waste of space sometimes.

My life really stooped to new lows the other night when I drank a bottle and a half of Baileys on a school night, and had to go to work the next morning with a huge hangover. Which used to be a not-uncommon-thing for me, but the alcohol always came from going out with friends, not drinking alone like some sad sack.

I can't even tell you what I'm stressing over the most, because it changes. Seemingly on the hour. First, it's money. Then it's my crusade to lose weight. Then it's my relationship. Then we're back to money, and so on.

As for money: I hate the stuff. I wish I could live in one of those hippy communes, where I could barter goats and grow vegetables, although I'll pass on the dreadlocks, ugly clothes and un-washed-ness, thanks.

I've just gotten rid of $15K debt, there is now $10K to go. Scary how one can get themselves into such situations, non? My next move will be to investigate the possibility of breaking my lease without having to pay anything, and horror of all horrors, finding a place with a flatmate.

Someone asked me the other day if I was ashamed because I was living outside my means, and now had to reign myself in. I felt like telling them to get fucked, but I'm not ashamed. It's not that having a nice car, and renting the place that I do was outside of my means, it's just that now my priorities have changed - IE - I want to go to Europe, and I want to buy a house. Not possible on my wage, plus owning a nice car, and renting what I've now found to be very expensive, apartment. It was good for me 18 months ago, but it's not right for me now.

So no, I'm not ashamed, I'm looking on it as an adventure. It will be hard - money falls through my fingertips, especially when there's shoes and clothes and boys around - but that's the challenge of it all. To Europe, either at the end of this year, or the start of 2008, and to a house, by the time I'm 30.

Although - and I have to ask the question - is it wise to spend $8000 on an overseas trip with someone that hasn't even said they loved you?

Being around this one 'relationship person' makes me feel so inadequate, because they have totally, and I mean totally, got their shit together when it comes to money. Mind you, they did have a helping hand when they were given the money to buy their house (the whole lot, not just a deposit), and, they did start on a graduate wage, not a traineeship wage, but then again, I could have done a lot more saving then pissing up all my wages on a weekend, y'know. The point is, I feel uncomfortable, and perhaps the lack of committment on the 'relationship person's' behalf, is the fact that I don't have it together, money wise.

However, we can only do what we can, and I have a budget, and a disciplinarian mother at hand to guide me through.

Sometimes, writing shit from your head can really help.


Next: Challenge II - Relationship

Tonight I bought car. No pics yet, will take some and upload when I pick it up.

But bugger the car. I'm having some Baileys to celebrate. And now, after a bottle of 'regular' Baileys, and half a bottle of 'mint-choc' Baileys, I'm somewhat drunk.

BUT NO. This is not going to be a drunk post. I would have had to visit some sort of dodgy pub and kiss a random, then come home after a taxi ride through the KFC drive thru to post something like that.

I'm just curious to see what people's favourite (alcoholic) drinks are. Mine is Baileys on ice. Even in a dodgy pub. After I've had my fill of vodka/lime/sodas, I get on the Baileys. For some reason it makes me feel sexy. Even while looking like a bag of shit.

Whatevs.

I'm not asking you to fuck me*, just tell me what your favourite drink is. Y'know what I'm talking about - the one that gets you horny, but not drunk enough that your performance is an issue.

And when the results are in, I will do a graph in excel, using the graph wizard and lots of pretty colours.


*NB - If your favourite drink is Bourbon & Coke, I don't know that I could fuck you anyway.


PS - I just re=read parts of this post )that I could read anyway). I think it may have been a drunk post. I'l know for sure in the morning.