Sexy girls with sexy guns*
Girls! Roll up, roll up! It's time to sign up to join the Army.
That's right Our intrepid Defence Force Personnel Minister De-Anne Kelly has 'gone into battle for us' and we can now serve in support positions of combat units for our country.
Whey-hey!
But hang on - we're still going to be technically banned from holding fighting positions. Oh darn it. I'd love to blow the heads off a couple of Iraqi insurgents and get down and dirty on the chase for Bin Laden. Damn you De-Anne, you haven't made my dreams come true after all.
So what does 'supporting roles' mean anyway? We'll get to wipe the brows of our infantry menfolk after an arduous battle? Bring them beer after a hard day's work? Generally tidy up the trenches ("Don't you bring those muddy boots in here, Private!") Or perhaps even navigate through tough terrain like this:
Fuck me. If I can't even get through the city centre of Ballarat, I've got no hope in making my way through the deserts of Afganistan. Notice the lack of street signs???
And what happens, if say, us women are confronted by:
this crazed madman bearing down on us with an AK-47? What would we do?
"Sorry sir, we're not allowed to fight".
Or would we just pick up our broomsticks and smack him over the head?? ("Don't you bring those dirty desert sandals in here, mister!").
Once again, it appears that womens roles are still undefined. Clearly we'll just have to be the jack-of-all-trades that we currently are anyway.
BECAUSE FUCK ME, APPARENTLY WOMEN IN SUPPORTING ROLES ARE JUST AS LIKELY TO FACE FIGHTING ACTION AS OUR MEN-FOLK IN THE INFANTRY.
So what is De-Anne jizzing herself over anyway?????
*Refers to Redneck-80's-Porn featuring chicks in bikinis holding machine guns, etc, as some form of titilation. If you can name which show spoofed this video, and also the male equivilent they came up with, I might kiss you!!
4 comments:
It was lampooned in "Jackie Brown" starring Samuel L Jackson, Robert De Niro and Bridget Fonda. It was a video they showed called "Chicks with Guns".
It was the famous scene where Samuel L Jackson goes "This is your AK-47, when you absolutely positively have to kill every mother-fucker in the room, accept no imitations"
I can't remember the name of the show, but I do remember them taking this piss out of that era in Beverly Hills Copy III. Remember the Annihilator 3000?
Seriously, i'm not opposed to seeing women on the front lines - but there was a debate about it this morning on breakfast tv (yeah, that's not too serious) and there was one person who emailed in to their soapbox noting 'if women are on the battlefield men are more likely to concentrating on protecting them as opposed to dealing with ones enemies'. I'm not being sexist, but they made a good point. We men are weak willed and are more likely to protect the buxom 20-something chick dressed up in a hot uniform than use some of those RPG's in the backpack to blow apart the tank shooting right at us.
it would certainly solve the problem of what to do with all thos iraki/australian babies born over there. they would have plenty of baby sitters and who knows the well known mothering instinct of aussy gels might take over and they would all be bought back home. see, no problem.
Darn. I was thinking more along the lines of The Late Show, where they showed the clip, then they showed Mick Molloy as 'Sexy Guys with Sexy Vacumn Cleaners'. Kisses to you all anyway.
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