I should just be sleeping or something.

I really shouldn't be going out with Jungle Boy.

I left my work's Christmas party at 10:30pm on Friday night.

I think I'm afraid of people.

I'm contemplating just heading into the city on NYE (SO EARLY, I KNOW) to watch the fireworks by myself.

I have a disastrous money situation, and I'm not sure how to get out of it.

The only positive thing in my life right now is work (not Bendigo Bank work either). Work, I can excel in, work gives me a purpose, I'd rather stay at work, where there are boundaries with people, than go out, where there are not.

The only thing I seem to have the energy/enthusiasm for is to read books.


******

Ok, so thinking about what brought this on. I was speaking to Jungle Boy earlier tonight, regarding the possibility of going to Europe/Egypt next year. I want to go, I want to make it a goal, but it depends on so many things; selling my car, getting payrise, etc, etc. An excerpt from the conversation:

Martie: "I don't know when we will be going"

Jungle Boy: "It all comes down to your finances"

Martie: "Yeah, I'm hoping for it to be this time next year"

Jungle Boy: "Well I've got my money and my leave sorted. So it's up to you"

Smug & arrogant? Or Factual? His comment made me feel really bad. And I told him so too. Yet:

Jungle Boy: "I didn't mean it like that"

Oh Lordy.

******

You wanted a saga, you've got it. Perhaps I can make this in to a study of dating really inappropriate men? The life & times of my relationship with Jungle Boy. I'm excited already.

Not.


So many people have told, and tell me to "dump his arse". The question is - why can't I? Pathetically weak springs to mind.

But not much else, because I really should be sleeping.

Goodnight.