The root of the problem (PS - OMGWTF LONG POST AHEAD)

Firstly, I will address the comments on the previous post (really only 'cos I'm lazy)


* Yes, Jungle Boy & I had broken up

* That is correct, we got back together

* Jungle Boy is smart, attractive (to me), funny, sexy, placid (to my sometimes hysteria) and has goals & ambitions. I stick with it because A) - we have a great time when we're together, no pressure on B) - The sex is great & C) - I'm afraid of being lonely, which sort of counteracts all the 'relationship shit' that seems to pop up.

* Yes, having someone say 'Do what you want', to me is like saying, 'I don't care either way' - IE - you're not important enough for me to care enough.

*****

However, let's forget Jungle Boy for the moment, for men are easily replaceable, friends are not.

My best friend & I have been mates since we were wee lasses, spending our Saturdays at Netball.

We've got wasted together, we've cried together, we've picked up together, we've lived together, etc etc.

I was maid of honour at her wedding; I am godmother to her son.

However, lately, our relationship has really been deteriorating. She spent a year in QLD, then came back at the start of this year, to give a relationship with what possibly may be her perfect match a go.

She's a very vague kind of a person; as much as I love her, she has no direction in life, and at times can be very selfish. When I say no direction, I mean she knows what she wants, but she's constantly shifting the goalposts around, and changing the aim every so slightly.

She tends to break plans easily; or becomes vague about stuff she's not really interested in. I don't know if it's deliberate, or if that's just how she is. I 99% sure it's the latter, but I have seen the deliberate side once or twice, however, I'm always giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Since she's been back in Melbourne, and with NZ (her man), this stuff has happened a touch more frequently.

Then sometimes, when she wants to do something, and I've already got plans (with Jungle Boy most of the time - she hates him), she'll get all sulky with me because I'm not just dropping what I'm doing. Arghhhh!

In August this year, NZ went overseas. All of a sudden, we're back to seeing each other again, nearly every day of the week. We were exercising together, watching tv together, cooking together, having our girly chats, etc. It was like old times.

She then went to meet NZ overseas for a holiday. When she came back, she was like a different person. Despite me ringing, and texting her, she didn't get in contact with me for about a week, put off (in her vague way) having dinner together so I could get all the holiday goss, and similar.

I found out what had happened; NZ & her had, despite all her statements to the contrary, that she wanted to take things slow, etc, decided to move in together. I was apprehensive. Sure, they'd known each other for years, but had only been a couple for not even six months.

At this point, I would like to state that I was possibly jealous, as well as geniunely concerned. Only because the chances of me moving in with a boy at any stage in the near future, are slight to none. Hmmph.

I also must admit that her breaking our plans, or just not contacting me, was starting to get on my nerves, so I started to do the same back, or just say that I was unavailible in the first place. Again, even if I had genuine plans that I'd made two weeks in advance, she'd still sook if I wouldn't go out with her.

With my best friend, it's always Her first, second & last.

I won't go into the whinging; suffice to say, she's never happy with anything. With work, the hours are either too long, so she changes jobs with shorter hours; not enough, so she changes again for more hours, and so on. But I've probably done my fair share of Jungle Boy whinging, so the point is moot.

However, the last straw came when she didn't wish me a happy birthday a month ago. Not even a text message. People I see once a year, or not even at all, could be bothered to send me a text message, but she even rang me, and didn't say anything at all. Only to go on about her's & NZ's latest fight ("I'm moving out", etc).

Really really hurt by that. Really hurt.

And then last week, after telling me to keep the Saturday night free for her birthday, she goes and changes it to the Friday and sulks when I can't come, because I have my Christmas Party to go to. Didn't return my texts or calls all weekend, and tonight, after I rang her to see what she was doing, found out she was at dinner, and I wasn't invited.

Really hurt again.

People I know say that it's just her, I have to deal with it if I want to be friends with her. Some people won't associate with me if she's with me (that is how many people she's put offside in the past). Jungle Boy can't stand her. My Mum & Dad, who have long been like a second set of parents to her, don't really want to see her anymore.

It's killing me because I can literally see our relationship slipping away. However, she seems to be quite content playing happy families with NZ & her son, and doesn't have the time for me anymore? Or am I just being unreasonable? I probably could try harder, but how much shit should I put up with?

I know that I probably need to sit down and talk to her about all of this. I'm just scared of the outcome. She's the type of person that could just say, 'Fuck it, I don't need this shit' and let it end there and then. I don't want that to happen; she's my best mate, we've seen each other through all sorts of crap, and it shouldn't end over a guy.

Sometimes I think I'm too gutless to dump Jungle Boy, because it means I'll be the one by myself, and no one to lean back on when she's off doing her own thing. I've said previously on here that friends don't come easily with me know; after some really harsh bitchiness, it takes a lot to gain my trust and that can often make me seem aloof.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Am I justified in sitting her down and telling her how I feel? Or should I just let it be? I miss our drunken nights out, I miss our shopping sprees, I just miss hanging around her. But with a child, and now a live-in partner, am I being too demanding of her time?

Who the fuck knows, but I know one thing: This is causing me even more sadness than the whole Jungle Boy saga. As I said, guys aren't the end of the world, but losing a friend is everything.