Blonded

We walked into the establishment last night; the first comment that came to everyone's lips was "gosh, there does seem to be a lot of blonde here tonight". Or words to that effect. Having decided we were going to have a 'quiet' one (ie - not get shitfaced); we got involved in the age old argument made famous by this gal. Do Blondes Really Have More Fun?

So, sitting back, drinking the dreaded purple drinks again, we catergorised the blondes into their several sub-blonde sections. Sitting from atop of our brunette perches never felt so good*

The Naturals: AKA The ones you could take home to Mum

These were the ones who had the natural blonde hair thing happening, and you could tell. Sure there may have been a few highlights here and there, but nothing more of an enhancement. From our observations, these blondes had the most admiring glances from the men in da house.

The Dirty Blondes: AKA The ones you wouldn't take home to Mum.

Dirty because they had that blondey-browney thing happening? Probably. But more-so from their dirty dancing. These girls had the heavily blonded hair, with that slight yellow look, and many with an inch+ of roots coming through. These blondes looked as though they were having the most fun; and more of them got a bit of mancandy action than anyone else from what we could tell.

The Donatellas: AKA The Barbie Dolls

Named from their tendancy to dye their hair completely platinum blonde and looking as though they just got off the plane from Ibiza all year round, these blondes tended to be of a slightly older age. Quite possibly because their generation never learnt the benefits of being understated. Everything about these chicks was over the top: the long blonde hair; permatan; overly excessive make-up (including hideous dark brown lip liner with bright red lips); and too tight/revealing clothes. Definitely a favourite with the older males, and as the night wore on, a favourite with the 20 year old boys as well.

The Normals: AKA The Everyday Blondes

This sub-section were not embracing their blondeness like all the other sections. They weren't the wholesome-y goodness of the Naturals, nor were they the skankness of the Dirties. They were definitely not Donatellas either. You've heard of the experession 'mousey brown'? Well we decided it applied in this case. Mousey Blondes. Quite content to sit and talk wit their friends over a quiet drink. Quite possibly about Brunette sub-sections.


CONCLUSION: Did the blondes last night really have more fun? Does fun constitute sleazy guys who haven't quite moved out of the '80s constantly hitting on you? It must be noted that more Blondes received male attention than the Brunettes last night, which really suggests that it really gets down to the individual's idea of fun. Which was impossible to measure comparably, and thus rendered our study useless. Being so frustrated with lack of results (both scientifically and mancandy-ly), we then proceeded to get shitfaced. So much for good intentions.

*Writer may or may not acknowledge that she was blonde in a previous life; quite possibly as late as three years ago. However, all photographic evidence is now 'lost' and the days of the eyebrows-not-quite-matching-the-hair are now but a distant memory.