Welcome to the Jungle*

Let's take a walk...

We're overseas (for the purposes of the exercise, imagine that you are devine and can walk on water). It's hot, and steamy. There are lots of plants - tall and short, green and flowery. You hear the call of an animal or a bird every so often. You brush back spiderwebs from your face, hoping to christ that there aren't any actual spiders in them.

You are here:


AND THIS IS WHERE CAMOUFLAGE BELONGS!!!!

NOT HERE:


NOT HERE:


AND NOT EVEN HERE:


Dudes, I understand that camouflage used to be HOTT in like 2001 or something, and I understand that some of us are looking at cammo gear retro-lovingly. I even understand if you like the odd poke through Aussie Disposals as I do.

But when I see skanks walking through shopping centres in TIGHT camouflage jeans and teenagers decked out in head to toe camouflage IN THE MIDDLE OF BALLARAT; I feel it is time to move on and put the camouflage thing to bed. You know that you've lost out on fashion when the 'Soufland' Gang get a hold of it (Benny Boy you KNOW what I mean, valvoline??)

However, Jungle Boy will still be permitted to wear it to bed. Cue 'army fantasy sex'.




*If you are someone that got jizzy about the use of a Guns'n'Roses song in the title of a blog, bestill my bogan heart xxx