True or False?

Because it's the festive season, and it's about fun, etc, we're going to play a little game down here in Martieland.

I will tell you a story, and you will have to guess if it is true or false. You could win some crappy x-mas present cast off that I don't want, so pay attention.

And, begin:

Once upon a time, a week before Christmas 2006, Martie & Jungle Boy were sitting down enjoying a meal. Jungle Boy then asked "What was happening Christmas day?"
Martie: "I'm not sure"

JB: "Well, I'm having lunch at my parents' house"

M: "So am I"

JB: "Do you want to come over and have dinner at my parents' house on Christmas night?"

M: "Well, yeah, but normally we (MARTIE FAMILY) have a few drinks at Christmas, so I might not be able to drive"

JB: "Hmmm. Ok. What about if I come and pick you up, say Hi to your parents for Christmas, etc, and then drive you back up and we'll have dinner then?"

M: "Sounds good"

Fast Forward to Christmas Eve, 4:30pm

JB: "So I'm still picking you up tomorrow afternoon"

M: "Yep, cool, see you then"

Fast Forward to Christmas Day, approx 3pm

JB: "What's happening? Are you drunk?"

M: "Only a little"

JB: "So you'll be able to drive later? Drive up here? We probably won't have dinner"

M: "Nah I don't think so. I feel okay, but don't want to chance it"

JB: "Well don't rush it"

M: "Rush what?"

JB: "Rush whatever you're doing. Come up when you feel like"

M: "What happened to you picking me up?"

JB: "So full at the moment...Who wants to drive 2 hours on Christmas Day...Oh well, if I have to come and pick you up, what can I do about it?"

M: "Don't come if you don't want to come"

JB: "Ok. I won't. Who would want to drive all that way on Christmas day?"

Fast Forward to 11:30pm, Christmas night

JB: "Are you pissed off?"

M: "Yes"

JB: "I thought so. Don't be like that"

M: "Well how come you didn't come down and see me? You've disappointed me, and you've disappointed my parents. Didn't you want to see each other? It's Christmas!"

JB: "Well...I just couldn't be bothered. Plus, me and my parents had lunch, then we were talking, then doing stuff, so there really wasn't an opportunity to come down"

M: "So you couldn't be bothered seeing me? On Christmas day?"

JB: "No, it's not that. Christmas is just a day to me. But it means a lot to other people, like my parents. Besides, we're seeing each other now"

M: "It means a lot to me. But you couldn't be bothered seeing me. Surely your parents wouldn't have minded if you were away for a little while. After all, I was going to be spending Christmas night with your family"

JB: "Yeah, well, maybe not. I don't know. I just didn't want to go down. I wanted to stay up here with my parents".

M: "What an awesome Christmas"

***

SO. Did this actually happen? Or is it just a figment of my overactive imagination?

Look kids, a post!

Heh. One big Christmas kiss for whoever clues on to which tv show that line (only substitute 'wall' for 'post') is from.

I have a ridiculously stupid last week before Christmas happening. So much to do, so little time. What's the answer? Go shopping for myself! Hurrah!

So I'm in between all the meeting & greeting and working and drinking and clients and wrapping and shopping and washing and cleaning and test-kitchening and kick-boxing, and, I'm fucked.

So...because I probably won't get around to blogging before the 25th, in the tradition of last year's christmas card:

I'd just like to show you my new Christmas outfit



And wish you all a very sexed-up Festive Season.

M xxx

Marriage is imminent

Yes. Through all the doom and gloom, rises up a wedding. And who doesn't love a good nuptial knees-up?

The object of my affection:




Just can't get enough.

On a happier note...

Because the best friend stuff is too DEPRESSING at the moment, especially after I called and left a message tonight saying 'let's talk, I don't want to lose you as my best mate, etc, etc' and then didn't get a call/text message back. So instead, to celebrating my achievements!

***

Achievements, you say? What sort. Well, it's not quite climbing Everest or finding a cure for alzhiemers, but for me, they're big.

1. Went to kickboxing. The first, non-sexual form of physical activity I have done in the past three weeks.

2. Put some washing on mid-week and hung it out. Because normally I end up with piles of it on a Saturday, then combined with my crappy 1&a half wash cycle and almost-zero line space, it never gets done.

3. Watered my plants. They were thirsty.

4. Bought myself a roast chicken from Safeway (Hi, Mars), cut all the breast meat (mmmmmmm, breast meat) off the bone, and stored in container ready to make sandwiches for lunch tomorrow. Why buy my lunch every day, when I am trying to save for a couch>

5. Made a list of the all things (Tissues, bottle of water, etc) that I have to take to work tomorrow. Because I'll be rushing, and at least I won't forget anything.

6. Used some tanning cream disguised as moisturiser, and now am starting to develop and lovely brown glow. And patchy areas around my ankles & feet. Alright, not quite the achievement I was looking for, but it puts me one step closer to girly-ness, non?

7. Changed a light globe. Scared of the dark.

AND

8. Made an appointment to get my hair cut. Fingers crossed; I want a full fringe with longer bits on the sides, a semi-permanant glossy chocolate brown put it, darker & lighter brown foils put in for a bit of depth, and a couple of random blonde patches around my fringe for something interesting. If it works out okay, I'll post a picture.


So. Congratumalations to me. 'Dere's some might fine achievements in my life right there, nothing exciting, but with all that's going on, it's good to know that the organisational part of my brain can kick in, and I'm still a fully functioning member of society.


For now.

The root of the problem (PS - OMGWTF LONG POST AHEAD)

Firstly, I will address the comments on the previous post (really only 'cos I'm lazy)


* Yes, Jungle Boy & I had broken up

* That is correct, we got back together

* Jungle Boy is smart, attractive (to me), funny, sexy, placid (to my sometimes hysteria) and has goals & ambitions. I stick with it because A) - we have a great time when we're together, no pressure on B) - The sex is great & C) - I'm afraid of being lonely, which sort of counteracts all the 'relationship shit' that seems to pop up.

* Yes, having someone say 'Do what you want', to me is like saying, 'I don't care either way' - IE - you're not important enough for me to care enough.

*****

However, let's forget Jungle Boy for the moment, for men are easily replaceable, friends are not.

My best friend & I have been mates since we were wee lasses, spending our Saturdays at Netball.

We've got wasted together, we've cried together, we've picked up together, we've lived together, etc etc.

I was maid of honour at her wedding; I am godmother to her son.

However, lately, our relationship has really been deteriorating. She spent a year in QLD, then came back at the start of this year, to give a relationship with what possibly may be her perfect match a go.

She's a very vague kind of a person; as much as I love her, she has no direction in life, and at times can be very selfish. When I say no direction, I mean she knows what she wants, but she's constantly shifting the goalposts around, and changing the aim every so slightly.

She tends to break plans easily; or becomes vague about stuff she's not really interested in. I don't know if it's deliberate, or if that's just how she is. I 99% sure it's the latter, but I have seen the deliberate side once or twice, however, I'm always giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Since she's been back in Melbourne, and with NZ (her man), this stuff has happened a touch more frequently.

Then sometimes, when she wants to do something, and I've already got plans (with Jungle Boy most of the time - she hates him), she'll get all sulky with me because I'm not just dropping what I'm doing. Arghhhh!

In August this year, NZ went overseas. All of a sudden, we're back to seeing each other again, nearly every day of the week. We were exercising together, watching tv together, cooking together, having our girly chats, etc. It was like old times.

She then went to meet NZ overseas for a holiday. When she came back, she was like a different person. Despite me ringing, and texting her, she didn't get in contact with me for about a week, put off (in her vague way) having dinner together so I could get all the holiday goss, and similar.

I found out what had happened; NZ & her had, despite all her statements to the contrary, that she wanted to take things slow, etc, decided to move in together. I was apprehensive. Sure, they'd known each other for years, but had only been a couple for not even six months.

At this point, I would like to state that I was possibly jealous, as well as geniunely concerned. Only because the chances of me moving in with a boy at any stage in the near future, are slight to none. Hmmph.

I also must admit that her breaking our plans, or just not contacting me, was starting to get on my nerves, so I started to do the same back, or just say that I was unavailible in the first place. Again, even if I had genuine plans that I'd made two weeks in advance, she'd still sook if I wouldn't go out with her.

With my best friend, it's always Her first, second & last.

I won't go into the whinging; suffice to say, she's never happy with anything. With work, the hours are either too long, so she changes jobs with shorter hours; not enough, so she changes again for more hours, and so on. But I've probably done my fair share of Jungle Boy whinging, so the point is moot.

However, the last straw came when she didn't wish me a happy birthday a month ago. Not even a text message. People I see once a year, or not even at all, could be bothered to send me a text message, but she even rang me, and didn't say anything at all. Only to go on about her's & NZ's latest fight ("I'm moving out", etc).

Really really hurt by that. Really hurt.

And then last week, after telling me to keep the Saturday night free for her birthday, she goes and changes it to the Friday and sulks when I can't come, because I have my Christmas Party to go to. Didn't return my texts or calls all weekend, and tonight, after I rang her to see what she was doing, found out she was at dinner, and I wasn't invited.

Really hurt again.

People I know say that it's just her, I have to deal with it if I want to be friends with her. Some people won't associate with me if she's with me (that is how many people she's put offside in the past). Jungle Boy can't stand her. My Mum & Dad, who have long been like a second set of parents to her, don't really want to see her anymore.

It's killing me because I can literally see our relationship slipping away. However, she seems to be quite content playing happy families with NZ & her son, and doesn't have the time for me anymore? Or am I just being unreasonable? I probably could try harder, but how much shit should I put up with?

I know that I probably need to sit down and talk to her about all of this. I'm just scared of the outcome. She's the type of person that could just say, 'Fuck it, I don't need this shit' and let it end there and then. I don't want that to happen; she's my best mate, we've seen each other through all sorts of crap, and it shouldn't end over a guy.

Sometimes I think I'm too gutless to dump Jungle Boy, because it means I'll be the one by myself, and no one to lean back on when she's off doing her own thing. I've said previously on here that friends don't come easily with me know; after some really harsh bitchiness, it takes a lot to gain my trust and that can often make me seem aloof.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Am I justified in sitting her down and telling her how I feel? Or should I just let it be? I miss our drunken nights out, I miss our shopping sprees, I just miss hanging around her. But with a child, and now a live-in partner, am I being too demanding of her time?

Who the fuck knows, but I know one thing: This is causing me even more sadness than the whole Jungle Boy saga. As I said, guys aren't the end of the world, but losing a friend is everything.

I should just be sleeping or something.

I really shouldn't be going out with Jungle Boy.

I left my work's Christmas party at 10:30pm on Friday night.

I think I'm afraid of people.

I'm contemplating just heading into the city on NYE (SO EARLY, I KNOW) to watch the fireworks by myself.

I have a disastrous money situation, and I'm not sure how to get out of it.

The only positive thing in my life right now is work (not Bendigo Bank work either). Work, I can excel in, work gives me a purpose, I'd rather stay at work, where there are boundaries with people, than go out, where there are not.

The only thing I seem to have the energy/enthusiasm for is to read books.


******

Ok, so thinking about what brought this on. I was speaking to Jungle Boy earlier tonight, regarding the possibility of going to Europe/Egypt next year. I want to go, I want to make it a goal, but it depends on so many things; selling my car, getting payrise, etc, etc. An excerpt from the conversation:

Martie: "I don't know when we will be going"

Jungle Boy: "It all comes down to your finances"

Martie: "Yeah, I'm hoping for it to be this time next year"

Jungle Boy: "Well I've got my money and my leave sorted. So it's up to you"

Smug & arrogant? Or Factual? His comment made me feel really bad. And I told him so too. Yet:

Jungle Boy: "I didn't mean it like that"

Oh Lordy.

******

You wanted a saga, you've got it. Perhaps I can make this in to a study of dating really inappropriate men? The life & times of my relationship with Jungle Boy. I'm excited already.

Not.


So many people have told, and tell me to "dump his arse". The question is - why can't I? Pathetically weak springs to mind.

But not much else, because I really should be sleeping.

Goodnight.

DOUBLE CENTURY

THIS IS MY 200TH POST. I'M JUST GOING TO POST THIS AND MOVE ON.

I just didn't want to make my 200th depressing, which it will inevitably be.

THE END