You're off the list!!!!
I'm not one to put a dampner on the Great Christmas Extravaganza (snaps to my HOTT pink & silver Chrismas tree), but really, who is with me when I say I hate Christmas Cards?!
Before you start with the Ice-Queen taunts and pronouncing me as a Scrooge on the spirit of Christmas (did I mention I put some purple & silver tinsel around my dogs' necks so they could be Pretty Christmas Puppies?), I don't hate all cards. I cherish the ones sent by my close friends and even the one that my Dad, bless his little unable-to-spell-heart, sent me in the mail, even though he sees me practically every day!
I just don't like the idea of them.
I hate the idea of having to sort through last year's; then making a list; then culling some people off the list; then adding new people on; then realising three days before Christmas that you've forgotten to send another 30 out anyway.
It's the most political, non-political thing that I'm aware of.
Christmas card lists are not just a turn of phrase; they are a living, breathing nightmare that can make or break a friendship. And really, probably more than half the people on the list are people that you'd never speak to except in a blue moon anyway.
Then there are the pretentious wankers that send out increasingly elaborate cards each year; to people they don't particularly like much, but with the aim of keeping up appearances and networking behind the guise of Christmas cheer. Bah!
Don't be playing fake niceties with me, just because it's Christmas. You can't make yourself feel better by hiding behind little baby Jesus' birthday. Next time you want to talk about me behind my back, maybe I will just remind you that it's little baby Jesus' 2 & 1/2 month birthday anniversary - then show me your cheer.
Anyway, to prove I'm not a complete bitch, here is my personalised Christmas Card to all of my Hottness readers, a la The Royal Family:
Ho Ho Fucking Ho.
7 comments:
I just don't send the things. They're meaningless pieces of cardboard which no doubt find their ways back into the recycling/landfill/refuse systems anyway right after the event. Bah humbug.
I'm with you Martie. More hot chicks in lingerie and less meaningless plattitudes on cardboard.
Yay for my first saucy christmas greeting of the year. Beats that fat dirty old prick in red PJ's that everyone else sends out, or the skinny jewish guy with unwashed long hair, bad 70's beard and his up-the-duff-missus, I mean who decided they should grace every chistmas card... and come to think of it, who the fuck are Noel and Joy? I notice their names bandied around more than I care to mention. Try as I might I can never seem to find a christmas card with KEZZA scrawled across the front, nor do I recall seeing a MARTIE card either.
I'm so pissed off right now... Hallmark are totally going to get an angry letter for this!
Best christmas card ever.
EVER.
I agree with Desci, best card ever, and my second card this year.
hahaha, go and read my christmas card disaster.
http://theoriginalkatiebaby.blogspot.com
it will put you off them forever.
I'm over the whole christmas card thing. Especially from people at work that i hardly speak to. What's that about? This year i emailed. I sent cards to two old aunts and a friend of the family and that's it. Enough already. Pointless, meaningless, stoopid. No more.
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