Broken computers are for your ass

Yes, updates have been scarce of late. 'Tis getting harder than an 18 year old boy watching the Big Brother sluts finger themselves in the spa to post from work & my laptop is still fubar'd & The Tart took her PC to QLD with her. As you do.

Some sort of quick recap for my dedicated fans though:

- Have been practising my Carmen Electra Fit to Strip video very hard. Very sore bum now. I'm about ready to smash her gay-eversmiling-gross-tight-t-shirt-wearing instructor though. How 'bout I take the chair, and smash it over your head, sunshine??

- Have just received by secret post the strip-dance routines instalment. Now just gotta get myself some hotpants like Carm's.

- Don't even ask me about my shopping bill last night. For some reason I thought it would be fun to make a butter cake with green icing and hundreds & thousands. Also, after reading this, I was inspired to buy some and try it out. Here's a tip though - Wizz fizz should not be consumed after 11pm on a school night. Take it from an expert.

- Discovered that Baileys & BBQ shapes make great dinner.

- I built a clothes rail. Allen Keys totally rock.

- I got stalked by the Ex-Fucker who then proceeded to abuse me all weekend about A BOY'S car that he saw in my drive WHEN HE WAS DOING DRIVE-BYS PAST MY HOUSE LATE FRIDAY NIGHT. What the fuck is up with that? And yet, my heart still yearns secretly. Not. Ashamed. Much.

- I AM A WINNER . WINNER WINNER WINNER!! Suck me sideways people, I WON!

Let me bask in the glory just a little while....


Anyway, hopefully will resume regular updates soon, that's if the warranty people don't discover that I DROPPED my laptop and I have to pay for the screen to be fixed.