Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Passion (killer) of The Chad

Really. Why is everyone getting into such a tizz over these, when there should be more rage and outcry over something like this?

I don't care much for people (god strike me) but show me animal cruelty and I'm the one organising, leading and packing packing up the banners after the protest.

If by chance this sick fuck ever came near me, I would, quite seriously, cut off his balls, bait them, and then force him to eat them - with a couple of fucking blows to the head for good measure. Don't think that I exxagerate about this either. Sure I'm all sparkly things and boys and hardcore pornography for the most part, but this makes me utterly fucking sick and I probably shouldn't even get started about what would happen if someone did this to my dogs.

*breathes deeply*

Uh, yeah ok. Being on holidays doesn't give me an opportunity to post any earlier. I've got hardcore pornography to download. Speaking of which, a totally unrelated masterbation story:

I was at Jungleboy's house on the weekend; while he tottered off to work, I took the opportunity to have a sleep-in. Of course, nothing ever goes to plan, especially after a hot shagging session just before he left, so instead of sleeping, I let my hands do the wandering. Which was all good, except that I forgot I had the TV on (tuned to Rage - it was early & cartoons are not my bag at that time of the morning). Next thing you know, I'm upping the pace a bit, and just before bad light is declared on the pitch, I've opened my eyes, and there, on the teev, I see this:

"Oh, my goodness Mr Paddlepop Lion. Touch me there. Yes. Yes"

and it's all over. I now know how guys feel when they lose an erection quickly. It was like the vadge had shrivelled up and gone off to be an internal organ for a while. Only through the many coaxings with promises of hardcore porn and tender waxings, did it agree to see the light of day again.

Got the M&M's though.

2 comments:

Desci said...

Dear GOD! It's HIDEOUS! Most credible reason for a 'restart' ever. Brrrrrrrr.

Hambo said...

Oh how I fucking hate Nickleback.

I fucking hate Nickleback,
they totally fully suck,
The lead singer is annoying,
Is he eating a whole nutsack?

I don't get their songs,
I find them rather lame,
they couldn't get better,
if you were pulling a bong.

They are 25% yank,
they are 25% ghey,
the rest is easy,
as they are 50% rank.

Poem by Hambo.
Dedicated to all the hot pussy out there.