Renovation Rescue & the sound of wedding bells...

In exactly two weeks time, my little brother will be coming home.


Look at him, isn't he cute?!

(Many moons ago, I wanted to marry my brother, all policemen and goats. Luckily for me, I had a big fight with my brother; my ex-boyfriend became a cop and I learnt, through baby jebus' christian followers, that bestiality is wrong, boys and girls).

He is bringing with him his girlfriend. AND her mother!! Is an engagement on the cards? Jeepers! Who knows!

Whatever is going on, it has now turned the parentals into DIY fiends. Dad is painting like a man possessed, and doesn't it give him the shits, that everytime I go over I manage to find a huge spot that he's missed, etc. Of course, I have offered to help, but ever since the Great Painting Incident of the 80's, where i painted myself, the footpath, the cat, the trees, BASICALLY EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE ACTUAL HOUSE, I have been banned from picking up a paintbrush.

The Mothership is also getting into the spirit of things, although her catchcry is not "To Bunnings we go!"; it's more "New Carpet! New Lounge Suite!". Admittedly, new carpet is desperately needed; the 1960's commotion there now would go very well in a student bedsit, but it is rather headache inducing for the oldies.

A sneaky suspicion that someone is trying to impress the potential in-laws, hmmm?

Whilst mulling this over with a few friends, one of them asked me: "But won't it just kill you if your brother gets engaged before you do?"

Kill me? Probably not. I've been thinking lately that maybe I'm not the engaging type. Certainly not the marrying type. Well not now anyway. I'm more interesting in my career and sorting myself out, to be planning weddings and babies etc. My my, how things change. Once, I wanted to have EIGHT babies.

I also think I'm too much of a control freak to get engaged/married, etc. As I've stated before, the guy would have to propose with a fuck off huge bunch of hot pink balloons, in one of which would be my platinum ring with an emerald cut pink sapphire and an emerald cut diamond on either side.

Then the engagement party (if we had one), would just be a small affair - personally I think they can be a bit of wank. I'd then get married barefoot on a beach at sunset in Vanuatu or Tahiti, with only my immediate family, his immediate family, and our very close friends. After we got back, we'd organise a BBQ celebration in the backyard, invite everyone that actually means something to us (not the obligatory invites that are so common), with Bi-Lo sausages in bread and my Mum's AWESOME hamburgers. And that'd be it. Oh, and plenty of booze.

When I find the guy who actually wants to do it this way, then I will be ready to get married.

So good luck to my partner in crime of childhood past. I hope that he's happy, whatever they are planning on doing. I just might score a trip to Japan out of it too.