Snippety Snip Snip Snippets

* Our Kyles has got breast cancer, as reported by every media outlet in the universe yesterday. Blah Blah, celebrity, blah, cancer, blah, national day of mourning, blah (Go on, I dare you, John H). What I really want to know is how Rove McManus' missus, Belinda Emmett, is coping. She was looking fucking awful at the Logies, wasn't she. I suppose at least she isn't going a la Goodrem and cashing in, and I don't think Miss Minogue will either.

Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to all Kylie & Belinda (Sorry Delts, sweetie, it doesn't quite extend that far) and I wish them complete recoveries, but everyday, all over the world, people get diagnosed with cancer, and it doesn't get shoved down our throats in everyway possible.

We have just finished another one of our colourful debates here at work, whereby someone said they feel so sorry for Kylie, how terrible, blah blah blah. Hello? Do you feel sorry for everyone else that has just been diagnosed? The Ex Fucker's mum was just diagnosed with cervical cancer, can I have a bit of sorry over here? My dog was just diagnosed with cancer, how about some attention there? Don't feel too bad for Kylie, at least she doesn't have to wear one of those space hat thingy-s to keep her from licking her wounds.

How about we come up with a day where we can remember ALL cancer sufferers, not just the celebrity-type ones. Oh...wait...

* $118 fucking dollars to go and see Grease the musical. I could get $118 fucks in Thailand for that. If I was a man. Probably could get them if I was a girl anyway, they're that feral. Anyways...back to my point. $118 is far too prohibitive for me and The Tart, so we've decided to put on our own musical. So with the help of our trusty old friend Absolut, some dunlop volleys and pink dressing gowns, our lounge-room on Friday night will be THE place to be. I can't promise you Millsy, but I can promise you the never seen alternative lesbian-curio ending that Grease the musical will not deliver. Email me for tickets, good seats still available.

* Ever get the feeling like your life is one big episode of Big Brother? My current obsession is highlighting the fact that I'm going all Jim Carrey in The Truman Show, and there is a Big Brother out there pulling all my strings. Consider this:
Girl A going out with Boy A
Girl B going out with Boy B
Girl B dumps Boy B
Girl B fucks with Boy B's head
Girl B tries to crack onto Boy A - and succeeds somewhat
Boy B stops talking to Girl B because he realises he using him
Boy A dumps Girl A
Boy B declares his love for Girl A
Boy B breaks Girl A's heart & starts ignoring her
Boy B starts going out with Girl C
Boy B starts talking to Girl B again
Girl B tries to crack onto Boy A again
Girl B tries to crack onto Boy B again
Girl C cools it with Boy B
Boy B decides to come crawling back to Girl A
Boy A decides to come crawling back to Girl A

It's time to go....