When the carpet matches the curtains.....

Fanta Pants. Rusty Cock. Ginger Pubes.

I am utterly obsessed, my friends. O.B.S.E.S.S.E.D.

So many questions, so few red-heads willing to drop their pants and let me inspect.

Because whenever I see a flame-haired random walking by, that's my first question.




Does the carpet match the curtains???



Through the bravado of my friend Carlton (as in draught), I once asked a likely looking fellow this very question at the pub once.

His reply (clearly courtesy of his friend Jim. As in Beam) was "If you suck my cock, I'll let you find out."

I politely declined his most generous offer, as I had just eaten, and had no need for sausages and carrots as a snack either.

Despite this, I still fantasise over what exactly is hidden in the undies of a good ol' carrot top. Frustrating much!

So I've decided to make this post a homage of some sort to the red variety: perhaps y'all can guess who is 'a la natural' as well:


1. Cameron 'the ugliest man in AFL since Mick Martyn retired' Ling

Not exactly the most 'red' pic of my old mate Cam, but there's no doubt he's got the flame-throwing moves below the belt.
Just an easy one to get you started kids.

From exciting AFL 'star' to exciting Hollywood 'star'

2. Debra 'I'm so out-acted by the chick with the big rack and squeaky voice' Messing

If I was arsed, I would have got a few shots of Debs, showing some decidingly brown tones and a few blonde highlights here and there through-out the years.
Your decision. Does she have what it takes downstairs to make the grade????

Now, from Hollywood 'royalty' to actual 'royalty'

3. Sarah 'Suck my hairy red toes' Ferguson, aka Fergie (and not of the Black Eyed Peas Variety either).

(Oh look, she's passed the redness on to her sprog too!)


You might be thinking "Aha! Martie gave it away by referring to the red hair on Fergie's toes! I've got her now, smart bitch!". This may or may not lead you to another train of thought, along the lines of "How did Martie get a face full of royal vadge???"

Fear not, readers, I haven't been sticking my nose and various others parts where they're not wanted. I'm simply assuming that if she is a natural red head, then the hair on her toes would have to be playing that game too.

Getting on a jumbo and popping over to the Motherland:

4. Random Russian Male-Order Bride.



Russian male-order brides are almost worth a whole post to themselves. The intro page states:
"Yes, there are hot red haired women in Russia that will make you remember them even after a short meeting."
If I had need of ordering one of these lovely ladies, and she didn't have red pubes, she'd be on the first plane back to Russia and I'd be demanding a refund!!!

Finally, on our way home, passing randoms:


and ending up in the sordid world of politics.

Now here's where it gets interesting.

5. Julia Gillard


(Don't ask me what she was doing on a chinese website)

She has a super clean kitchen folks, now, does she have a super red 'giney too?????


Now, is there anyone willing to guess who is a natural and who is a wannabe????
Whoever is able to guess the most correctly might win a prize.* A special edition porno featuring all red-headed ladies getting down and dirty perhaps??


*NB - Of course, I have no fucking idea if they are natural or not. It's not like they're going to publish a pic of Fergie's pubes on the internet, are they?? And I'm not giving up my dvd either.