Martie....at the movies
Hello, and welcome to this end of holiday-day post.
Unfortunately, I have no exotic tales of drunken-ness or sex fuelled romps to report - life's like that when you're still all banged up and unable to walk long distances and cause fuck off long queues to get on escalators at Chadstone. PATIENCE, FUCKWITS, PATIENCE.
Ahem.
Ok, so I like, totally joined the 21st century this weekend instead. I bought a DVD player.
After years of resisting, I finally realised my efforts were futile when I went to my local Blockbuster a couple of weeks ago and the only VHS related product I could find was an ancient copy of Chuck Norris' Good Guys Wear Black for $1.50.
There really is only so many times one can watch this, despite all the Chuck Norris goodness.
In honour of buying said DVD player, which I bought totally because it was able to seduce me with it's sleek silver and black looks, I....watched some DVD's! Yatta!
Allow me to now review these DVD's for you (PATIENCE! I probably won't use it for the rest of the year, thus saving you from my crappy movie reviews), in my own, Martie style (read: grumpy & disinterested).
The Island:
The first movie I have seen with Scarlett Johansson, and my, didn't she just captivate my attention. She reminded me of one of those 'perfect' people, blonder than blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect skin, etc. However, the highlight for me was everytime Sean Bean was on camera, where I giggled somewhat uncontrollably to myself about his name "Seen Bean". Bahahahaha. Geddit?
Crash:
Unfortunately not the one where people get off on car crashes, this was the Academy Award winning one. Whoa. A more depressing movie I have not seen. Although I was kinda glad to see Sandra Bullock playing a bitch, the whole purpose of the film for me, was to highlight the fact that Ryan Phillipe is a total loser and he will be career will be stuck in reverse forever. Go for broke on the settlement, Ryan.
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo:
Fuck me. Even more depressing than Crash.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:
It cuts like a knife that the disc buggered up just when things started to happen, and NOW I'M LEFT HANGING as to how Jim Carrey goes in a 'serious' role.
Harold & Kumar go to Whitecastle:
Why do we not have these Whitecastles in Australia? Little cute baby hamburgers - awwwww. And Doogie Howser, pretty much playing himself in real life. Because I imagine that's all Neil Patrick Harris has to do these days in the failed life of a child star: coke up and fuck anything with a hole. And oh, the movie was American Pie: Version 4289.
At least now that I have my DVD player, I will be able to get all down and dirty with my Carmen Electra Striptease series. Oh wait. No, I can't. Fuck.
7 comments:
OMG Martie, you have just got with the program? DVD is like so yesterday. The new IT medium is either HD-DVD or BluRay. They are having a bit of a VHS vs Betamax battle going at the moment, I'd love to back BluRay, but HD-DVD will beable to play your older DVD's and CD's. Plus the discs will work in your existing DVD player, except that they won't be in High Def.
Still I can't belive you have just bought your first DVD player? I've been with dvd since the first week of the Sydney Olympics in 2000, and I used my Tax refund to buy the player.
Wow. You chose some crappy movies to watch for your first DVD viewing. I'm an avid collector of DVDs. Over 200 now. And that includes Vols 1-4 of the Carmen Electra Fit to Strip series! Tee hee.
I read somewhere that Reese Witherspoon is really worried that her marriage is going to collapse because she's way more successful than Mr Phillipe so she pulled strings or something to get him in this movie, which I'm almost certain was Crash, in the hope it would revive his career and avert her (as yet non-existent) marriage crisis. And now it's gone and won an Oscar.
So yeah, thank y'all for listening and I hope I didn't kill too many brain cells there.
Congrats on the dvd player!!
Hambo - Please. You confuse me. One step at a time.
Puss - Yes they were crappy. Except for Eternal Sunshine, but I don't know how it turned out, so I reserve judgement on that one.
Kerces - Do you think she pulled the strings to get it an Oscar too??
Snapped - Thanks! Shiny new appliances are always exciting.
Well you never know what "friends" know. It may be a few months til I get to a magazine with the Oscars in it to find out though.
Eternal sunshine is a fantastic movie, must see, also butterfly effect is really good too!
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