Martie's Anzac Day Hijinx
I masterbated on Anzac Day. Is this disrespectful? Should I have waited until after 1pm perhaps, to fall in line with the Casino and shopping centres? At least it wasn't like having a rave party where the diggers landed, was it? Was it?
Ahem.
Anyway on with the show.
I am always somewhat amazed to see most of my hits on this here very site, coming from google and other engine searches, for the following terms:
"Does the carpet match the curtains"
"Red Pubes"
"Bloodnuts"
"Ginger Pube"
Way back, I wrote a random musing about the fascinating subject of redheads, and whether their pubes really did match the colour of their hair. In all serious, it's something that I've wondered about, but I was just going to put it down to luck if I ever got up close and personal with a fantapants.
However, the fanta just won't quit.
I'm not quite sure if it's sexual deviates or zealous interior decorators that are conducting these searches, but by golly, it's roused the sleeping curiosity in me tenfold.
So. What to do, what to do.
Then it hit me. Where else would I find sickos and weirdos willing to share their pubes with me? Teh interwebs, of course!
I've signed up to a *cough*reputable*cough*dating*cough*site*cough*. It's just like advertising for redheads. Like advertising a job on Seek, for the right candidate. OMG!!!!1! How is it that my genius-like qualities are only just coming to the fore now?
I've already had 10 responses! Hurrah! Mind you, six are from guys WHO DON'T HAVE RED HAIR! Can't these cunts read? My profile is very specific about only wanting contact with guys with red hair - now I know how Puss feels when she deals with these fuckwits. One guy even offered to colour his hair red for me (Desperate? Him? No!),but politely declined when I asked him if he'd do his pubes as well.
So, as my quest to find a luscious red pubic thatch continues, brace yourselves for updates on The Fantapants Adventure. And don't say I didn't warn you about the pictures.
9 comments:
I can't wait to see how this turns out, Martie. You never know, you might meet the love of your life online and have lots of little carrot-top (and bottom?) children.
I had the same thought on Easter night - 'Is this wrong?! Will Jesus get mad?'
But I kinda figure it's a day of rejoicing and I was jus doing my bit...
heh heh "doing" heh
Martie, I think the Anzacs died for the freedom of young women to masturbate whenever they damn well please.
(note: didn't compute - I actually had 'company' - my boyf was the bit I was doing)
Unimportant detail, but still felt I needed to clarify!
DT - Ewwwwwwwww. Just the thought of something orange coming out from down there is....ewwwwwww.
Enny - I'm glad you clarified. It's always better to rejoice with friends too.
kerces - I'm damn pleased I celebrated that freedom then.
In my experience most of them match almost exactly from top to bottom although some are a shade darker.
I have a thing for redheads and can never go back to blonde or brunette now.
I may be able to assist you with this vexing quandary. Now whilst I'm not sure if there is some sort of genetic reason why boys and girls would be different in the curtains department but from a worldly sample space of exactly two redheads I've had the pleasure of having the pleasure of. Yes the carpet was a good match. I'd also like to not that both were rather good at oral, so I hope in your adventure that you find that the similarities don't stop at the decor.
You really are a creepy fucker, Unique Stephen. Does wifey on your pic there know you're a serial internet skirt-chaser?
There is also the phenomenon of guys whose hair is blonde on top but sport a few ginger hairs down below. Typically around the endges.
Curiously, this doesn't seem to happen with women.
Maybe ginger-ness is passed down through the male line?
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