Things NOT to do when drunk

1. Think that you can dance as well as a gay guy
2. Think that you can turn the gay guy with your sexy dancing
3. Drink More
4. Think that you can dance
5. Take a mobile phone with you. Anywhere.
6. If perchance you did take mobile phone, don't proceed to sms Ex-Fucker
7. Don't sms Ex-Fucker more than once.
8. Don't sms Ex-Fucker's mate that confessed he liked you then you snogged then he took it all back in case the Ex-Fucker got mad
9. Multiple sms random people in your address book
10. Especially if you work with them
11. Especially if they have possessive partners
12. Drink more
13. Dance more
14. Yell "My Shout" when they announce cheap Cowboys for the next 15 minutes
15. Attempt to call little brother in Japan on mobile. Just turn the fucken thing off for fuck's sake and put it in your friend's handbag.
16. Cry
17. Drink more. Cry. Drink and cry because no one will text you back.
18. Put beer goggles on in attempt to at least get a snog out of the night
19. Think that KFC on the way home is a good idea
20. Be meek in trying to catch a cab. Get some 'tude, girl
21. Don't get home; fumble for keys; stagger through door and down passage bumping into everything; attempt to call little brother in japan on home phone.
22. Forget to remember that home phone is password protected for mobile/std/international calls after the 20th go of dialling out.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING A GIRL SHOULD NOT DO WHEN DRUNK:

23. Leave her knickers lying on the nature strip to be found by one's mother in the morning.




Who? Me? Never....