Sex or Uno?????
Sorry dear readers, I feel it is my duty to inform you of something that you may already be aware of, but that I need to clarify for you just in case.
I am not cool.
That's right, y'all are now down with the fact that I'm not part of the cool group and I'm a little bit boring and staid and should stay at home drinking tea and playing Uno and stuff. Oh yes, I am the Uno master.
Apparently I have been deluding myself for the last 20+ years, because it's only just come to my attention that I'm totally uncool. So, why don't I belong *sad pathetic face*?
It appears that I have no status with the cool kids because I HAVEN'T FUCKED A GUY IN A CARPARK BEHIND A BOTTLESHOP OUTSIDE THE OVER 28'S. I'm also not rated because I DON'T PICK UP A DIFFERENT GUY FROM THE OVER 28'S EVERY WEEK AND FUCK THEM.
Gee, funny that. A) - I'm not Over 28. B) - All the guys at the Over 28's are like, 70 and desperate & C) - I wouldn't fuck one of them even if I was 70 and desperate.
Yep, have recently found out that a couple of ex-friends have been 'doing the rounds' and well, I'm not invited because I'm not going to join their wild orgy in the hastily booked motel room out the back of 'da club'. Please, if you told me that this hotness:
and this hotness:
were naked in a seedy motel room waiting for me, I'd be there, with bells on. And not much else. Hell, I'd even consider the carpark for my boyz! But I'm not going the daisy chain with dudes that drink the wine/beer/water with a straw.
I mean sure; I'm a bit of a porn freak; I'm on a mission to have sex in every Melbourne suburb, and yes, I have had sex in Albury, but hey, I still have SOME morals. Getting gravel rash is not included.
I guess I will have to do without those friend and accept the fact that I'm not cool.
So, anyone up for a game of Uno????
6 comments:
I used to engage in post-coital Uno with an ex. It was seriously fun. Nudity and Uno - together at last.
Also, an interesting variation on Uno is Psycho Uno, involving various adaptations to the rules including things like if a 0 is played everyone passes their hand one person to the left. I'll clarify the rules and update.
But didn't you know? Un-cool is the new cool.
"It appears that I have no status with the cool kids because I HAVEN'T FUCKED A GUY IN A CARPARK BEHIND A BOTTLESHOP OUTSIDE THE OVER 28'S."
All the cool chicks I went to high school with now have at least three kids. More than one kid + below thirty = not cool. Of course there are exceptions to every rule.
I just recently discovered your blog and I'd like to invite you to Grogblogging (The famed Australian blogger’s meet up). It will be at Papa Gino's on Lygon Street in Carlton on Saturday 27th August starting at 7pm. Click here to find out more. It would be great if you can make it.
One more thing. I like your site and I am going to add it to my blogroll.
Uno and porn. I'm thinking best sleepover party ever.
What is cool is drinking beer and watching episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by yourself till 3 in the morning. So cool!
Hehehe...
Ruby - Naughty Car Sex - big tick!
Peter - Could have used those uno rules this weekend! If you ever clarify them - let me know (commments or email)
Chris - left a comment on your blog about grogblog - will let you know regarding date
Desci - Almost had both going - does sex with the Jungle Boy count?
.....Hambo, Hambo, Hambo.....
Uno and sex not good combo for my boyfriend who cracks it when he loses, and then I delight when I win and make it worse.
*insert evil laugh here*
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