Travellin' Sex Show

"....and we had sex there, and we had sex there and we had sex everywhere".

A friend of mine recently returned from an overseas jaunt with her man. Apparently the whole thing was just a big bonking junket, so they could have their sex passports stamped. Mountains and public monuments and hotel lobbies, their list was endless, and damnit, there was no accompanying slideshow. Bummer dudes.

It was one conversation that I hesitated on - my list of sex-travel stories is fairly modest. Oh, alright then. It's shit. Check this out:

Metropolitan Melbourne:
Hampton
Sandringham
Black Rock
Beaumaris
Cheltenham
Brighton
Bentleigh
Moorabbin
Glen Waverley
Heatherton
Mordialloc
Mentone
Brunswick
Eltham
Watsonia
Tullamarine
Melbourne
Southbank

Country Vic:
Lakes Entrance
Torquay
Portsea
Lorne
Mallacoota

Interstate:
Albury
Adelaide

Overseas:
NIL!

What I find most amusing in a sad tragic sort of way is not that I've never had sex overseas - IT'S THAT I'VE DONE IT IN THE NATION'S BONKING CAPITAL - ALBURY*!!

However, it's a very depressing sort of list and doesn't exactly paint me in the whoa! adventure! light, does it?

So to cheer myself up, I've come up with a list of all of the strange places that I've done the deed:

* Back carpark of Tulip Street, Sandringham sporting ground. With the radio on for ambience. With the RACV answering our distress call after running of said radio runs the battery flat and the car doesn't start.

* Carpark of Le Page Tennis club, Cheltenham. Memorable for orgasming twice after head, and breaking my brother's sunglasses.

* Carpark at Beaumaris Yacht Club. Look up from back seat, and there's some creepy dude looking in the window. Drive away. Very fast.

* Out the back of Tullamarine airport, near the aircraft viewing area. Just past the country club on the grass, next to the empty field. 'Cept it wasn't empty. A cow poked it's head through the wire right next to the window. Then we got bogged and had to push the car out. The cow thought it was hilarious. Luckily we didn't have to call the RACV again.

So, as I am somewhat financially challenged, Overseas and Interstate are out of the sex passport. But I've decided that I will, ahem, make my mark on all of the suburbs of Melbourne. A bit of variety never hurt.

Keep an eye out for me in YOUR suburb....



* I have no actual data to say that Albury is the national bonking capital. But seriously, what else would you do up there???????