I have standards too, you know!

Celebrities I'd hit hard & good, for free:


The Three Musketeers was like PG Porn. In fact, I had a very hard time trying to pick a google image for you, and ahem, had to take a short break in proceedings to take care of some business.
Although not traditionally 'good looking', his sex appeal and that HOTT 'come fuck me now' glint in his eye, make up for it, and I would be first in line, if he wasn't already married (y'know, cos I've got morals and shit).


Devoted readers of this blog would be familiar with my ardour for the future Mr Aniston.
You did a hell of a lot for yellow t-shirts, Vinnie my boy.


I so wish I was an ice vest right now


Celebrities that I'd hit after a nice dinner and dancing date:


I learnt the true meaning of the words 'sex appeal' whilst watching the The Late Show.


His exterior image, as in the one in the above photo, is so different from his character, so I think the less talking and the more 'dancing' we did, the better.


I forgive you for that disgusting beige suit & sandals get-up in Con Air, just because you're you. But don't fucking wear it on our date.

Celebrities that if you offered me $1M bucks to hit, I'd still have to think about it some:


I've never seen the attraction. Sure, I can see why majority of the world's female population might want a piece of that, but I've never been inclined. I'd like to dress him like my very own Ken doll though - the asthetics are excellent.


I like pool boy fantasies better


Ok, you've proved yourself to be classier than Britney. But even if I was an hysterical teenage fan, I probably still wouldn't chase you down the street to hand over my cherry. Although, being with an older woman has probably taught you a thing or two.

Celebrities who would need to learn the meaning of 'not a fucking chance mate' pretty quickly:


I don't care what you're packing, go pack it somewhere else.


'L' is for Loser, fuckbag


You remind me of a guy that offered me half of his muesli bar, then dumped me, all on the one day, in Grade 5. And you, Leonardo, still look like you're in Grade 5.