Thursday, November 03, 2005

The Imminent is imminent

Terrorist attacks are imminent friends, imminent. To the bunkers we go!

I seriously considered not going to work and using imminent terrorist attacks as my excuse, but knowing my luck, they'd think I was going to get my tits out at Oaks Day. No thanks, but I might head up to the pubs in the area to pick up a pissed bloke later. Ahem.

Like the trouper I am though, I soldiered on and went to work. My apartment building would have more chance of falling into a giant fuck-off hole than being attacked by terrorists. Shit hey, maybe the terrorists blew up part of the tunnel which caused the hole. I for one, am grateful to them. They have ridded the world of at least one UGLY bedroom for now.

So assuming that LJH's 'intelligence' is correct, and there are two states under threat, I think it would be safe to assume that Melbourne and Sydney would be the targets. No one is going to bother with Tassie or SA. They would leave QLD alone, seeing as it will most likely self-destruct anyway; there's not much point in blowing up the outback and WA doesn't even have Sunday shoppping, so there's no point talking to them about terrorism, they are that behind the rest of the country. September 11? Speak to WA in 2011.*

And now, with at least four state premiers agreeing to the rushed changes of LJH's anti-terrorist act, I wonder if this includes the 'shoot to kill' law so hotly debated a couple of weeks ago? Threats are imminent, so you never know.

Personally, fuck the terrorists, 'shoot to kill' should be introduced for all walks of life. I know that my Dad would be first in line to shoot to kill Daryl Somers if he saw him walking down the street, such is his contempt for the little man with a penchant for wearing knits such as this:

I'd reserve my shoot to kill licence for the cunt that killed the puppy in its own backyard in Bendigo. Shoot to kill is probably even too good for them, so my second choice would be the Fantastic Furniture chick. Fucking, can someone glass her already, please?

Anyway, my personal vendettas aside, who, given one 'shoot to kill' licence, would you target? The safety of this big brown land we proudly call 'Our Country' depends on YOU!!!!



*NB - WA readers, please don't shoot to kill me. I love your state, I'd love to live there, but I just don't understand why your shops don't open on a Sunday, ok?

8 comments:

Michael H said...

For those remarks about us Sandgropers, i'm getting on the phone to Osama right now.. the 'armpit of australia' deserve to get blown off the face of the earth on account of your remarks.

Just kidding folks. Yes, you might call us a little backward over here in WA - but we needed a referendum to get Sunday Trading, an a large group of holy rollers and 1950's types decided to come out in force and vote it down. Give it another couple of years till the next state election and it'll be on the agenda again.

Martie said...

It's bullshit, dude. I was reading my some catalogue, and cos I was really bored, I was reading all of the locations, and their opening hours. I nearly fell off my chair. My mum had to confirm it (ex-pat sandgroper)

somewhat-sober said...

nor do we western australianians understand why the fuck we don't have extended trading hours. it is an outrage.

what makes it more of an outrage is that just this year the moronic population voted not to have sunday and late night trading!

i do _not_ understand it at all!

shoot kill - the western australian public that voted no no

Rudy Zarsov said...

Shoot ta kill?? Shoot ta fuken kill???
no1 Premier fuken Bracks with his fuken speed cameras.

no2 John fuken Laws..no need to elaborate

no3 Kim fuken Beazley...Talk Talk Talk Talk....say fuken mothing

no4 Muzlim fuken clericks who knock Australian values.

no5 Me for being an intolerant fucken cunt........

Steph said...

I travel over the Harbour Bridge just about every day. I suspect EVERY person with a backpack of being a terrorist. Paranoid much.

Shoot to kill retards that don't know how to merge in traffic. I want to take my car lock to these idiots on a daily basis!

Hambo said...

steph, you so should call the terror hotline saying you have seen multiple people with backpacks on the bridge, and you think they are going to blow it up and have a mass suicide. LOLS!

Results: Bridge closed down for hours pissing off a lot of people.

Steph said...

Hambo i like the way you think. Will i get my head on TV do ya think? or will they just cart me off to the freakin loony bin or worse..a womens JAIL.GAh!

Hambo said...

Dunno, but it would be fun, plus you can stay all anonymous!