More cherries, babies, prevention of babies & bouncer auditions

Ahoy, dear readers. Much apology for failure of regular posting. Stupid end of financial year. Stupid clients who can't get their shit together until the last minute. Stupid fucking ********* industry. I have been working like a bitch.

But firstly, a big congratu-fucking-lations to The First Family of Spin, who welcomed into the world their daughter recently. Babies are exciting! I like them lots. Only when I can give them back though!

My 'boy' has just returned from QLD. For the last 10 days, we've been sending each other horny-as-a-bitch text msgs, so when he got back Thursday night and came over, I almost didn't make work yesterday! Same deal this morning - we didn't get out of bed until 1pm. Guess he is just making up for lost time and all that! I did have my first orgasm with him though. Fuck. Yeah.

We finally got around to using condoms, after I got a very STERN lecture from the old ladies at work because I had go and get the morning after pill yesterday morning. Mind you, they used the opportunity to MAKE ME BUY SOME MORNING TEA WHILE I WAS OUT. Mmmm, boston bun. Anyway, jungle boy (so because he wears a cammo T to bed) wasn't keen on the condoms. Sigh. I even put them on with my mouth and all. DOES HE NOT APPRECIATE THE SACRIFICES I MAKE FOR HIM??

Well this paragraph will be void of capital letters, thank god. I now have a choice of injections or the implant. Not sure which tickles my fancy just at this moment, although I think it would be kinda cool to walk around with a rod in my arm, sci-fi style.

Have also been trying to piece together last weekend. Got dragged out to a skanky local pub ("Nice of you to invite your mum & dad, Martie" "Fuck, isn't that Grandma over there?" - yes, it was one of those ones). Luckily I was blind before I even went, thanks to my good friends Butterscotch Schnapps and After dinner mint liqueur, who was a late replacement for the absent Baileys. I like to think of it as a refined, dinner-finisher offerer cowboy. Choice!

I was apparently a picture of total chaos, by nearly breaking someone's hand, impersonating the bouncer by putting the ropes up to the dance floor and totally confusing the old dears, and abusing the manager because he didn't have an incident log. All this and I still had time for a sleep in the toilet and a chat with a hot boy. Excellent. I'm sure all the old people were looking wistful and wishing they could get up to some youthful hijinks like me; unfortunately they had more important business to attend to like trying to find a husband/life partner/root.

And, despite what other people may say, there is no subsitute for a real cheeseburger. Fuck. Yeah.

Think it's time for me to go make more hot sex in a far-away land called Watsonia. Or Greensborough. Or wherever the fuck it is. Thank god they invented Melways on the internet. Ciao for now.