Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Hmmph. Write an entire post about how much I hate toilets, then spend half the night with my head in one.

Here's a tip: Never mix vodka & orange juice and kahlua & milk, especially if you are going to be drinking rather fast after being accused by a certain ex-fucker that you've given him AIDS*; spread (true) rumours that he has been harassing you to all of your mutual friends; and then get told by him that he now has another girlfriend.

Don't mix your drinks if you just gone 10 rounds with a concrete wall (wearing the only boxing gloves that you could afford that wouldn't even knock out a 10 year old) after being told that "we can still be friends".

Don't drink vodka and kahlua (except of course if you are going to partake in some white/black russian drinking) at 12am on a school night if you just been told "everyone knows now so I better tell you before you find out from someone else" then proceed to throw your washing around the room. It's not conducive to cleaniness and visitors do not want to see your g-strings as window decorations. And you'll only have to pick them up in the morning, when you have a hangover.


Milo milkshakes are good hangover cures.


*NB - Accusation was made purely to hurt me. The Ex-Fucker has never been tested for AIDS, and in the last blood test I got when I first starting dating Jungle Boy, my tests came back clean.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

The AIDS allegation is, of course, defamatory if the ex-fucker mentions it to a third party (ie anybody else).

You might like to point that out to him, next time you're having a "civilised" chat.

Hambo said...

So you had a big night then? Hows your head? I worked out that last night beers and Jimmys knock me out cold for 12 hours or so...

Steph said...

I just don't get the whole alcohol and milk thing. Guranteed to make me spew till my intestines come out my nose.

You're well shot of the ex. What a dickhead.

tokenwoman said...

I think it was all the orange juice and milk that did it. Don't be so quick to blame the vodka and the kahlua.

Vegemite on english muffins is also another good hangover cure.

Martie said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Mothership rang his mother to tell him what has been happening and to get him to lay off.

16 again!

Ben said...

Arh Martie, loving the more frequent postage, even if it is to report such unfortunate affairs.

Alcohol and milk makes fools of us all. The key is to have plenty to eat, otherwise you end up dry retching for two days. Not that I'd know anything about that.

Ben said...

Oh, and never have too much to drink when you're whole family is crashing the night at your house.

There's nothing worse than having your niece and nephew complain that they were awoken at 2 in the morning by the sound of their Uncle throwing up in the bathroom.

Desci said...

Best hangover cure: cold puddings like yogo. They're like a cool, dairy hug.

Hope he gets his dick caught in an electric fence, Martie. xo

Martie said...

OMG Caz!!1! You realise this makes you the fantapantz!!!

pirategirl said...

mmm milo milkshakes.
i'll take 2 thanks. one for now, one to put in the fridge for later.
and a loopy curly straw please.

Rubydot said...

Martie Martie Martie. Truths about alcohol and men are always hard. Anyway, to throw in my two cents, seasickness tablets are great for nausea. And, yes, your ex is a cockhead.